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Also, as mentioned above, the tendons of their tails are used to make rope.

January 12, 2010

Stewie, or Pua

Tamandua. Oh!
Is your sticky tongue endless?
You are so damn cute!

Pardon me while I drop all sarcastic irony and weep with pure cuddly joy at the unrivaled adorability.

*sigh*

I’m a sucker for big nose and voracious taste for termites. Reminds me of my Uncle Irving.

But I’m reading up on my new favorite Myrmecophagidae, swooning at descriptions such as “In the rainforest the southern tamandua is surrounded during the day by a cloud of flies and mosquitoes and is often seen wiping these insects from its eyes.”, when I bottom out over this speedbump: “Also, as mentioned above, the tendons of their tails are used to make rope.”

Good god, man! wtf are they talking about? I scan and rescan, and there is no above as is boldly asserted to have made such mention. I am flummoxed and agitated.

Rope? Really? From tamandua tail tendon? I must be truly besotted, because I suddenly feel tears welling in my eyes. So I start to google, to find out more context for this assertion, yet all I can source is this one fact repeated over and over across a multitude of websites. No described techniques for tendon braiding, analysis of tensile strength, photos of rope makers deeply involved in the utilitarian craft.

So I’m just gonna call it bullshit rumormongering.

Their mouth is only as large as the diameter of a pencil. Unlike Colossal the Squid’s tongue and cheek, tamandua has no teeth. They walk on the outside of their feet. There is a woman monikered taqmanduagirl who has devoted an entire multi-year blogspot to a daily photodocumentary of her two pet tamanduas, Pua and Stewie. It will give you cavities.

& this is what happens when you stop smoking, doing drugs, & wearing leather, & you have a baby. You become a junky for cute. I would inject tamandua straight into my vein, and fall back, blissfull with my too short tamandua high.

They must truly poop rainbows.

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