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A mighty thirst

March 23, 2010

I was all set to write about a study I recently read that found that women who had frequent condomless hetero-sex were less depressed or anxious than those who played it safe.

Now I can think of several off-the-cuff yet reasonable hypotheses that might speak to this correlation, but I was taken by surprise at the one the researchers chose: semen as anti-depressant.

You know what, that just reeks of wishful male thinking.

But instead, another jismy topic caught my attention using this lead-in line: “Female seed beetles are known for their promiscuity, a surprising fact given that the males of the species have dangerously sharp spikes on their sex organs.”

Gawd, I wish I could write hooks like that!

So here’s what I really want to talk about: slutty beetles.

Seed beetles, for obvious reasons, do not use condoms

What keeps the bettys coming back for more in the face of such brutal weapons of mass copulation?

A clue that caught the researchers’ eye: the males ejaculate up to 10% of their body weight. zomfg! Now we know why they’re called seed beetles.

Turns out the girls get more than a romp, they also get slaked. With such an immense load transferred, the females use sex as a crucial method to stay hydrated.

I’m completely changing my approach to getting laid. Here’s my new pick-up line: “Hey, baby. You look sad and thirsty…”

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